faq's

How long have you been married?
Since November 19, 2005. We were 22!

How old were you when you met?
We were both 19.

How did you meet?
I worked at a motorcycle dealership as the morning receptionist. The afternoon receptionist asked me if I would like to join her and some friends for a weekend of desert off-roading. I had never been, but showed symptoms of strep throat. Ironically, one of her friends she wanted to set me up with had just gotten over strep and hadn't finished taking his antibiotics (horrible, I know!), so he had just enough to get me through the weekend. That friend was Rocky, and our first date/meeting was that blind date camping trip to the desert.

Why did you pick places for your kids names?
It started with seeing Georgia's name somewhere and I loved it. Then I met a man named Houston when Georgia was about 1 and decided then that if we ever had a boy we would name it Houston. It was just such a cool name. Couldn't leave out a place name for #3! I have never been to any of those places.

Did Rocky always drink a lot?
Yes, but he was a closet alcoholic, so my perception was different than reality.

What does your husband think about you writing about his addiction?
In the beginning he was embarrassed what I was sharing. However, he was also in the first 6-ish months of sobriety and I really needed a place to vent. I was uncomfortable sharing with most my friends because for years people had been telling me to get a divorce. One friend encouraged me to put it in writing, and so I did. As Rocky has gotten further into his sobriety, he is much more at ease with my public writings.

Does he read your posts about him?
No. I've tried sharing, but he just isn't interested. He enjoys my writing, just not about him. I really wish he would though.

How long has Rocky been sober?
Since March 2011

Do you drink?
No. If I couldn't eat chocolate but Rocky could, I would be of two emotions: jealous and tempted. I have put myself in his shoes and walk this road with him.

Do YOU miss drinking?
Yes, but only when I'm in the environment and friends keep offering and offering and offering. Even when I explain that I don't drink because my husband doesn't drink, people still think I'm going to sneak a glass here and there. Not so! *team player*

What is your advice to spouse's of addicts?
My only advice is to stay strong and do what's best for you and your family. Addiction is a family disease, and it's not something that is ever going to just disappear. So whether you need to seek counseling, a woman's shelter, prayer, divorce, Betty Ford- I'm here to support YOU.

Have a question I haven't answered? Email me at lady jake 5 at yahoo dot com (ha to you spammers!)